The Ultimate Battle
by MiyuTanemura
Summary: Tired of Natsu and Gray's fights, Lucy, Erza and Mirajane come up with a plan to solve that problem. For once and for all. Natsu/Gray. Crackish.
1. The Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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><p><span><strong>The Ultimate Challenge<strong>

**1. The plan**

It was late at night and the guild of Fairy Tail was unusually calm.

In the large main room, darkness had fallen except for the weak light that came from one or two of the sconces high in the walls. But there was a warm glow lighting one table at the corner. At the table, three people were sat, eating and chatting in low voices.

Three illustrious mages of Fairy Tail were having their meal.

Lucy placed her cup a little forcefully on the table before heaving a sigh. She slouched slightly on her chair, placed one elbow on the table and rested her face on her open palm. With her free hand she held her fork and was moving it distractedly over the few bits of food that still remained on her plate. With another sigh, she looked at her companions.

"This is too much." She told her friends. "Did you see how the main room ended?" she let go of her fork and made a wide arc with her hand.

"Tell me about it." Mirajane was quick to reply before taking a swig from her cup. "And guess who's going to have to clean up? Now that the Master's absent, I'm going to have to do all the cleanup and they won't pay me any mind when I'll go and scold them."

"I didn't see what happened," Erza started saying, before having another bite, "but the boys don't seem to have behaved all that well." She gave a quick glance at the rubble and shook her head. "I'll have to talk to them."

Lucy's mouth twitched before settling in an amused smile. "Yes, I'm sure that they're going to listen to you." She exchanged a glance with Mira and they both seemed to be thinking the same; '_before you turn your back and they have another chance at creating havoc while you're not looking_'.

"Well, we're going to have to do something." Mirajane was quick to continue. "Their rivalry and…" she seemed to be searching for the right words, "contests to see "who's the best" are going to have to have an end."

"Yes, the disasters that follow aren't all that fun." Lucy added.

"They're a bit over the top sometimes," Erza added seriously, swirling her drink in her cup, "but I'm sure that we'll be able to tame them a little."

"Tame would be the right word…" Lucy drawled, earning a giggle from Mirajane.

"That, it would." Mirajane agreed with a laugh. Then she tilted her head at Lucy's sudden stiff countenance. "What?"

"I think I just had an idea!" Lucy said with a devious smile.

"What?" Mira wondered.

"Do tell." Was Erza's reply.

"I think that we should…." Lucy paused for emphasis. "Create a challenge to settle their rivalry. We can have the whole guild watch, without butting in, and then the thing will be settled." She ended joyously.

"I think that such a thing might be hard. What would be that challenge?" Erza placed her silverware on the plate before emptying her cup, placing it on the table and looking around.

"Yes, and how would we have the whole guild just watching – I don't think that they would like to just stand aside and not intervening." Mira added.

"Well, I hadn't thought that far ahead…" Lucy answered, seeming slightly deflated.

"Hey, Mirajane, do you have cake? I feel like having some…" Erza suddenly asked.

The aforementioned mage made to start getting up when the blonde mage suddenly gave a loud "_that's it!_". Both older mages were there waiting for her to continue.

"What?" they said.

"I think I know something that can be interesting and not all that destructive," she winced slightly before adding a quick, "I hope."

"Yes, but what can that be?" Mirajane sat back down, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"A bake-off." Lucy said joyously.

The older mages looked slightly confused, looking at each other before looking back at the blonde mage.

"You know… Erza was just saying that she wanted cake and we might have them do cakes. That way, they don't have all the destruction and, if things go well, we might even have cake in the end."

"Cake would be nice." Erza nodded.

"Haha, it would." Mira said, followed by a snort. "But do you think that it is a good idea?"

"Yes, I mean, the boys cooking…" Erza said with an amused smile. "I don't think that they're all that good cooks…"

"Well, yes. But… what if the outcome's a good one? Besides, we'll give them recipes. It's not all that difficult to follow a recipe, right?" Lucy pushed her plate to the side and stretched her hands on the table top.

"No, it isn't but…" Mira placed a hand in front of her mouth, letting out a new giggle.

"I don't know how the boys would handle that…" Erza wondered out loud, looking down at her cup. Then she glanced at Mira, "Why are you laughing?"

Mirajane just started laughing out loud, holding her sides.

"It's nothing…" she was interrupted by a small fit of giggles. "I was just imagining them, with aprons and with flour in their faces and hair and-" she crumbled on the table top in a stronger fit of giggles.

The other two mages caught the idea and started laughing themselves.

"That _is_ funny." Erza said, covering her mouth with a hand.

"Oh, wow, I hadn't thought about that!" Lucy added, a huge smile on her face as she gave a few gasps after her laughing fit.

"But now, to serious things." Mirajane sobered up a little. "We must be practical. What are we going to ask of them?"

"Well, I think that, since they're a fire mage and an ice mage, it would be fitting to have a cold and a warm cake." Lucy said.

"Or dessert." Erza added. "Hmm, it would be quite nice…" the red headed mage added.

"So, that settles it!" Lucy rose from her chair, placing both hands on the table. "We're going to have the boys have the challenge of challenges!"

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><p><strong>AN:** This is just a quick little fic that suddenly hit me. Around half of it is already written but since my life's kind of chaotic at the moment, the next update's going to be in two or three days.

This story's unbetaed.

Feedback's awesome, as per usual. Are there any recipes that you would like to see? I've made a list with the four recipes I've thought of but ideas are always welcomed.


	2. Ready Set Go!

**2. Ready. Set. Go!**

When the next day came, Lucy was sitting with Erza at a table. Both mages were brimming with anticipation while waiting for their friends to arrive. They just wanted to give them the news.

First, it was Natsu who arrived with his dearest friend, Happy. They were chatting animatedly and when they noticed the girls they headed there.

"Good morning." Natsu said, his good mood exuding from him. "Did you guys have breakfast already?"

"'Morning." Lucy said. "We were just talking for now, waiting a bit to have breakfast."

"Ah, you don't mind if I go with Happy and bring my own, do you?" Natsu inquired. "It's that I'm starving this morning and-" his tirade was stopped when the fire mage's stomach gave a loud growl. "You see?" He shrugged and turned to go get his meal.

Lucy looked at Erza, a grin trying to stretch the corners of her mouth.

"How do you think that he's going to react?" the blonde asked, nearly trembling with anticipation.

"I don't know…" Erza held her piece of bread and tore a small bit before popping it into her mouth. "But we'll have to wait until Gray appears to give the good news."

"Good news…" Lucy snorted. "I wonder if they're going to see it that way too." She ended with a smile, grabbing her cup and making the contents swirl in her hand. "Either way, we're going to have fun."

"Look, Mira's coming." The red head pointed at their friend, who was heading their way accompanying the fire mage.

"Good morning, girls." Mirajane said with a cheery grin. "Ready for today?" She tapped her fingers over the table top. "It's going to be great, huh?"

"What do you mean by that?" Natsu placed his tray on the table and sat, looking between his friends. "Heh, let me eat first, I'll wonder about that later." And he dug in into his food.

The girls exchanged looks before smothering their smiles.

"We'll explain later, when-" Lucy smiled mysteriously. "-everybody's here."

Natsu's eyebrow arched but he seemed to brush that off before taking a great gulp from his mug. Happy rejoined them by then and so the two started a small conversation.

Not many moments later Gray entered the guild, strutting. Instantly it seemed to distract Natsu from his food as his hackles started raising.

'Oh boy… it's one of those days…' Lucy thought as she rolled her eyes at her friends' antics. With a nod at Erza and Mirajane, she beckoned at Gray to come closer before starting. It was time.

"Okay, now that you arrived, Gray, we have something to tell you." Lucy began, looking at both Natsu and Gray who were staring at her. "I was talking to Erza and Mira yesterday and we decided that we've had enough."

"What do you mean?" Gray quickly shot back. "I just got here, didn't even have breakfast and now you're starting with 'I don't know what'. I haven't done anything." The ice mage grumbled, voice lowering under the strong gazes of the girls. He pouted and sat down at the table.

Lucy had her eyebrow arched and she cleared her throat before continuing.

"Like I was saying, we're fed up with you boys and have reached a conclusion. You two are going to compete." At this both mages seemed to perk up and look at each other, sharp grins stretching their lips. But Lucy kept on, as if she hadn't seen the reactions and their probable thoughts. "Yes, we decided that you're going to compete…" she paused for drama, "by baking!" She concluded joyously.

The expected objections didn't take any time to come.

"What!" Natsu and Gray both yelled in outrage as they stood, shock written all over their faces – which had also blanched one tone or two.

"Yes, you're going to compete and the result will say, for once and for all, who's the best." Mira continued in a non-nonsense tone. "And since right now, I'm making the rules, I give this event my approval." She smiled beatifically and clapped her hands excitedly.

By then their little group had attracted a bunch of guild-members and so a murmur was spreading out among the crowd.

Who could imagine it? Natsu and Gray baking!

On the other hand, neither Natsu nor Gray were finding the situation funny. They had sat down after the initial outburst and were decidedly ignoring everyone that was surrounding them.

"No, I don't want to. You know I don't cook, even less bake." Natsu was staring fiercely to his empty plate.

"If you're waiting for me to cook something, you can wait for it until… well, a long time from now." Gray let himself slouch on the chair and tapped his fingers on the table.

"Oh really?" Erza had decided to join the conversation. "Are you _sure_ that you don't want to measure your rivalry through _this_?" She placed a few papers on the table, a small smile curling her lips.

Both youths glared at the pages and muttered something under their breaths before Lucy took care of the situation once again.

"In my hands are the recipes that we thought that you could do." She separated the pages and placed them in front of each respective mage. "I must add, you're going to make us two desserts; one cold and one, well, one cake." She ended with a nod. "We thought that it was appropriated." She had the cheek to add.

The boys were flabbergasted, looking to the papers placed in front of them, then at Lucy, at Erza and at Mirajane before repeating the cycle; their mouths opening and closing but with no words coming out.

"Y-you can't do this!" Natsu finally spluttered. On the other side of the table Gray was nodding his agreement.

"Ah, today we can." Was the reply – with too much mirth filling the words, in Natsu and Gray's opinion.

Laughs started to sound, which made Natsu and Gray's attention snap out of their predicament and realize that most of the guild-members still at the guild were surrounding their little group and already commenting and making predictions about the outcome.

"We'll have everything ready for you tomorrow morning." Mirajane started. "So, you can go now-"

"-maybe study the recipes we gave you." Lucy interjected.

"And tomorrow we'll be waiting here for you." Erza concluded.

With downturned shoulders, Gray and Natsu (who was followed by a mildly gleeful and surprised Happy) left the guild. They walked side by side, among the teasing shouts of their friends, not saying anything or even so much as glancing at each other.

'Okay, I'm fucked…' was what was going through their minds.

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><p>After the boys left, things calmed slightly in the guild, with the small crowd dispersing, leaving the three friends sitting at their table.<p>

"Okay, that went well…" Erza looked around and then looked down, long hair covering her face where she muffled her giggles.

"It did go better than I expected." Lucy added, placing her folded arms on the table before letting her head rest in it.

"To some degree, you're right." Mirajane added as she sat and chewed on her bottom lip. "I just hope this doesn't explode in our faces…"

"We'll do our best not to let that happen." Lucy said, Erza nodding her assent.

They couldn't help but hope those words were true.

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><p><strong>AN:** Chaos isn't all that funny. Many apologies for the delay. Also, fickle internet isn't all that helpful. -.-'

Still unbetaed.

My thanks to those who commented. Feedback is, as per usual, awesome.


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